Day 67 – relieved or remorseful?

/ Andy, Laurie, Miles & Ani

June 9, 2016

Miles: 0

We woke up groggy around 8 am. We were so tired last night that we didn’t even shower before going to bed.

Normally that would be fine but we hadn’t showered (well, other than Laurie who had an accidental river shower) in 6 days.

This decision was hard. There didn’t, and still doesn’t, seem to be a “right” choice.

Do we stay and face our fears? Do we suck it up and be miserable so we can keep walking a “pure” thru hike? Are we just being wimps?

So many thoughts went through our heads. We discussed, pondered and forgave ourselves. We made a decision to be safe. Yes, we probably would have been fine had we continued on but it may not have been fun.

Our conversations kept circling back to why we are here. We wanted to explore the mountains of the west and enjoy one another’s company. Much of that enjoyment comes from feeling confident and comfortable – neither of which we felt after crossing Bear Creek.

We both knew that this thru hike would be hard, but Laurie never expected to be scared. She grew up backpacking and normally feels at ease in the woods.

This rattled her.

We both knew a lot could change but we had secretly hoped for a straight forward thru hike. This year, the nature gave us obstacles.

Just as in life, one has to constantly make changes and adapt to what nature provides.

Laurie felt like a wimp. She felt embarrassed for getting scared. But she also felt uncomfortable pushing past her limits. She is learning to embrace her emotions and listen to her gut – even if it makes her feel foolish in front of others.

Andy, who originally was excited about a pure thru hike, is focused on getting back on the trail together – wherever that may be.

It is hard to walk away. It seems the longer you stay away the harder it is to get back on trail.

We want to keep hiking. After conversations with rangers, other hikers, scouring Facebook and other social media pages and looking at maps we have decided to jump back on in Belden. It is lower in elevation so ideally less snow and thus fewer sketchy water crossings.

We will be ahead of the pack so conveniences like the water report and footprints will not be updated or be present. The challenges continue but these we are prepared for.

We will continue to go one town at a time and alter our plans as needed.

We intend to circle back to the Sierras to complete our hike. But again, step by step we will see how this adventure unfolds.

Thanks for all of your support. We have received a lot of messages and it means a lot to us.

We will update again when back on trail. As for now we are enjoing time with family both in LA and Oakland and resting our tired bodies.

Tonight we are grateful for technology and helpful intel.

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26 thoughts on “Day 67 – relieved or remorseful?”

  1. You guys are the best! I so enjoy reading your blog. You both do an amazing job of everything. My Dad was a World War II vet who fought in Europe. His favorite advice to me when I was growing up was “discretion is the better part of valor”. You two are brave intrepid hikers who have brought adventure to all of your readers in the form of a very well written blog. I don’t know how you do it all. Keep on trucking but stay safe. Thanks for sharing your adventure.

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  2. I think you made the right choice. You were hitting the Sierras rather early , and there would be plenty more terror- inducing moments clear up to Sonora Pass… and beyond. Just because plowing through worked for some people, doesn’t mean it had to work for you. Why live in terror?
    I appreciate the candor of your blog. Don’this get you down- you’ve lived to fight another day!
    You might also check out Google Earth for snow conditions on the trail.

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  3. Laurie, you are a wise, brave and compassionate hiker. I would not have lasted as long as you have. I’m happy you made the decision to avoid any more dangerous water crossings………a few years ago, these crossings might not have been as dangerous but this year they are.
    Andy, you our caring, loving and supportive…..the way a man should be.
    I remember Bear Creek the end of July in 2014……I was fearful crossing it then! You are both in my adventurous heart………keep on listening and enjoying life on the trail!

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  4. I think you made the right choice. You were hitting the Sierras rather early , and there would be plenty more terror- inducing moments clear up to Sonora Pass… and beyond. Just because plowing through worked for some people, doesn’t mean it had to work for you. Why live in terror?
    I appreciate the candor of your blog. Don’t let this get you down– you’ve lived to fight another day!
    You might also check out Google Earth for snow conditions on the trail.

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  5. You guys should not feel bad about stopping at all. Those river crossings would scare the heck out of anyone. You should be proud. I have enjoyed your posts, being an armchair traveler. I’m sure you will have a successful thru hike. Check the PCT FB page, it has snow reports, water hazards, trail angel help, and more. Please keep posting, wherever you decide to get back on trail. Your followers are waiting. Glad you are safe.
    Trail Angel in Lancaster

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  6. I’m glad you are taking care of yourself. You’ll be back out there soon! BTW, I’m on a five day bike trip to Santa Barbara – my little adventure and challenge. I’ve really been enjoying your posts and pictures and look forward to more.

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  8. Thank you both for sharing your adventure. You have been such an inspiration. I’ve enjoyed your blog and can’t wait to see what you guys do next!

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  9. Love reading your jrnl. I was out there last year with much easier conditions, but the need to make a dozen important decisions everyday was similar. You know ALOT from hard experience which makes your ‘gut’ decisions very reliable. Keep at it, embrace the good and the bad, and HYOH.
    Best
    Dan

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  10. Hey you two, I havent commented in a while but have been keeping up from the start. Quite the adventure your on and your doing great with all the tough decisions. If you find the time, there is a great blog out there that might be of interest to you. She hiked the PCT as a newbie in 2011 and has since gone over 10,000 miles on quite a few trails. She just updated her site but you might want to check out her PCT blog and her river crossings in a record snow year to give you a little more insight. Crazy stuff and even though you made a very tough decision, you made the right one. Stay safe out there and enjoy your time on the trail. Just Bruce..
    http://walkingwithwired.com/about

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    • Hey Just Bruce. Thanks for the link to Wired’s blog. We’ve been following her since her PCT hike. In fact we did look at her journal again to compare our experience with hers and do feel we made the right decision.

      Thanks for your support. We really appreciate it!

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  11. Glad you’re both safe and resting. Hard decisions for sure. Good decision for sure. We’re about two hours west of the PCT (mile 2000) and plan on section hiking the Oregon portion NOBO in July. Hope we cross/share paths.

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